Last Post

I'm moving! This blog will be continued on my website: www.michellemcaleer.com - I'll see you there!

Sunshine

The sun came out today and I got mobile. I'm so predictable!

Vacuumed, cleaned the house, did some laundry, went out and unrugged the horses, went downtown and bought paper and ink and printed out the latest "Quandary" script, walked he dogs, went to Brian's and watched Michael Jackson stuff on Foxtel, checked out his poker set (still no idea how to play, but LOVE the feel of the chips), did some writing...

Sun's well and truly gone now and it's freezing. But - I hope - the sun'll come out tomorrow, betcha bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun...

I've been housesitting at Mum and Dad's house for a few weeks now and I'm thinking when I get home to my little house I'm gonna do some rearranging - my computer needs to be in my lounge room where the heater is. It is TOO COLD out the back. My mission for the last two weeks of holidays is to get very, very organised for Semester Two because there is no semester break next term. It's gonna be head down, tail up, and buckle down for sixteen weeks (during which "Quandary" will be performed, too). And then - somehow - it's LA or BUST!!!

Disappointed

Can you believe it??? I got the date wrong for returning to uni - I thought we had this huge break, but there's only two weeks left, not three. I am not impressed by my own inaccuracy!

I just finished watching all "The L Word" dvds I could get my hands on and I had to know what happened after that - so I read all the episode summaries on the show's website - which I must say is a very time effective way of covering the show's last three seasons, although not as enjoyable. I am SO relieved that at the end of the final season Bette and Tina are still together and Tina has not run off with that man from season three and taken baby Angelica with her. Just as well!

The weather is no better today, as you can probably tell... I went with some uni friends to the cinema this afternon to see "Ice Age 3" but there were, like, hundreds of children there so we decided to give it a miss and get a dvd instead. We chose "Death Race". Yes. Well.

Shiver

I'm gonna say it again - it is so cool to be on holiday right now - it's just icy outside and I get to stay indoors, relax, blog, write, and watch hours and hours of TV series on DVD. I LOVED the first season of "30 Rock" - I knew I would, Tina Fey is a legend!

I had my Drama classes tonight. Last night I spent ages online finding monologues for kids, and I found quite a few - from "Finding Nemo" and "101 Dalmations" and "Alice in Wonderland" (amongst others) and I gave them to the younger group to do - and... (trumpets sound)... THEY DID IT!!! They focussed and read over them and then got up and read them in front of the group. I'm pretty chuffed!

Blazie and I braved the cold first thing this morning (actually Blazie LOVES the cold - must be that fur coat) and went out to give Sakie some extra feed. I brought her in and put my hands up under her rugs (she's wearing three) - it's toasty under there - thankfully!

I'm ready for a new commitment - I started the Celebrityslim diet four days ago - I didn't admit it till now because I've tried to start about four times in the last month and chucked it in after a day! This time, though, it's sticking. I didn't weigh myself before I started because it's too cold to get naked on the scale before breakfast but I will set a goal to reach by the opening night of Quandary - and I will set that goal as soon as I know when opening night is! So I'll keep you informed on my progress.

Speaking of Quandary, tonight I asked my theatre daughter Ann to teach me to play poker. We've decided to make every Tuesday night Poker Night. I'm so excited! She and Gosh are gonna teach me Texas Hold 'Em. This can be our mother/daughter bonding time - maybe we can work it into the play.

I'm gonna go watch "The L Word" Season Three. Bette and Tina just had their baby! Aww!

Cool Change

I heard on the news tonight that a "cool change" is on the way. A "COOL CHANGE"??? Thanks for the warning...

Leaving the house is like an extreme sport at present, and yet again I have my animals to thank for the fact that I even opened the front door today. When I finally did this horrid woman in black was cycling by screeching "I'll get you Dorothy - and your little dog, too"... but she took off in a hurry when she actually saw Blaze.

So I look forward to this "cool change". I guess there'll be glaciers and stuff.

But I'm not complaining. I watched my TV series on dvd and found some monologues for my students and even did a little tiny bit of writing on Storytimed.

There's no place like home.

Out of the Doldrums

OK, don't know what happened there... just couldn't face the world. I did my interview in Canberra with the Department of Education on Monday and then went into complete and utter shutdown mode! I am forever grateful for my dog and my horse - because of them I have no option but to get up everyday, get dressed, go outside, do stuff...

But these two days have not been wasted. Nope. I have hired out and watched some TV series I wanted to see (I can never follow a TV series for long because 1. I forget to watch, and 2. Half the time I'm rehearsing something, somewhere.) So in the last two days I've watched two seasons of "The L Word", half a season of "30 Rock" and before too long I will start on "The Sarah Connor Chronicles". Last night I did the ultimate decadent thing - stayed up till 1am watching those horrible "Let's give some poor woman lots of free surgery to make her look better" shows. Guilty pleasures. Addictive.

Aside from all this lazing about I have a new motivator - my friend Mark (not young Mark, grown up ice-skater Mark) is going to LA and New York at the end of the year and I think I'm gonna go too, for a couple of weeks. Somehow.

Mark & Me

It's a little late and I wasn't going to blog tonight BUT I just got sent a pic I had to share. It was taken on my birthday a few weeks ago at the Thai restaurant where I had dinner with the theatrefolk. This is Mark and I. Mark is wearing his white Al Pacino "Scarface" suit and he didn't even spill his Thai food on it - or my red wine - which is a miracle. (I'm going to treasure this picture!) Good friends and fried ice cream. It just don't get better than that.



While I'm posting the blog I wasn't going to write - I watched Kate Winslet in The Reader last night and thought she - and the film - were brilliant. I cried. ALOT.

Which I continued doing when I awoke this morning to hear that Michael Jackson was dead. I stared at the coverage for over two hours without moving - then dragged myself away, telling myself nothing was going to change if I stopped watching, and there was nothing to see.

Anyway, it's all been said, ad nauseum, and will be for days and weeks to come. But he really was a great, great star.

Well, I'll be...

I just realised something - yeah, I'm a bit slow regarding CERTAIN things - remember that Wiki assignment I spent about fifty hours on back in - er - April (that I got a high distinction for, hooray!)? I have just realised that all the things I learned and did to create that Wiki are the same things you need to do to create a website.

So I've been busy!

And I've created my own website. It's still a work in progress... but it's there! I've linked to it in my "Links" list on the side of this page.

Holidays are SO cool. I would only notice a thing like this on holiday! I'm guessing I'll be up all night trying to finish it - but it shouldn't take too long. I already did all my trial and erroring while I was working on the Wiki. When I'm finished I'm going to send the link to my agent, and then all good things are going to happen!

Ah-ha!

More Sunshine

It's another naked day for the ponies! Rugs off.. yee-hah!

Had another burst of productivity this morning collecting and printing online reading comprehension resources for the young student I'm tutoring in English. Then I went to the courthouse to have some documents certified and posted them off. I then felt totally justified in blowing off the rest of the day.

Judith and her son Al came into town for coffee and we lapped up some sunshine and chatted. Al created the collaborative storywriting website I was enjoying so much before uni got so hectic. So, now that I'm on holidays I need to get back onto Storytimed and do some more writing because it's FREEING and it's FUN!!! (If that sounded a bit like a promotion that's cause it was - check out the site! Amy, this means you!!!)

I'm now staring down the barrel of another quiet evening - it's funny, the last few weeks of semester were so frantic, and now I don't quite know what to do with myself... but I guess it's important to enjoy the sensation while it lasts. Come semester two I'll be longing for even a moment's boredom.

So here's the plan... gonna get in my pjs, cook dinner 'cause I forgot lunch and now I'm famished, do some writing on Storytimed ('cause it's FREEING and it's FUN)and then watch a movie. And try not to eat my way through it. I gotta tell you - bootcamp ain't exactly going to plan so far. Let's just say that willpower and I are going through a separation right now.

Increased Productivity

OK. I'm back in business. This is probably because the sun was shining today. Hopefully it will keep on shining for a few days - I seem to shut down without it!

I've been putting off some official-type stuff - namely applying for accreditation with the Institute of Teachers because it's CONFUSING - but I finally did it today, and made copies of all my supporting documentation which I'll have certified by a JP tomorrow and send it all off. There. One more thing of the GAZILLION things I've had to work out how to do to get through this course. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think we deserve to be granted our Diplomas simply by demonstrating that we can navigate the course - and associated - requirements.

Sakie got a thorough soaking during the rain yesterday so I took her rugs off this morning to let her enjoy the sun while her rugs dried. This afternoon when I went out to put them back on Cindy and I went exploring and found some trail riding spots - so... it's back on! We're all gonna start trailriding again! YAY! Blazie is sound asleep right now 'cause he was running around trying to keep up with Cindy's somewhat leaner kelpies. Pretty futile - but pretty cute!

Gonna go - I'm having steak for dinner and it's calling out to me right now!

South African Wine

I've just had the best afternoon at my friend Paul's house. He cooked a very tasty, spicy Mexican meal - made me think I should exert myself in the kitchen... which I don't 'cause it's just me and the dog at home... and opened a very delicious bottle of chocolate/coffee red wine from South Africa. High drinkability factor. So we ate and drank and chatted for five and a half hours while it poured rain outside and I rued the fact that I had hung a load of towels on the clothesline - but not enough to go and do anything about it.

Paul showed me his pictures of Capetown where he spends all of his holiday time each year (it is so beautiful there!) and I felt really inspired because for years I've wanted to go back to New York and do some more study and it has dawned on me recently that once I start teaching and earning a decent living I can do just that - spend all my holiday time in New York. And that is truly something to look forward to!

I felt like I was back in Newtown this afternoon, with nothing better to do than shoot the breeze. Good feeling. Bugger the towels.

Results Are In

I made a bit of a spectacle of myself this morning...

I kidnapped young Mark after class last night (which was a great class, by the way. Among other great stuff, Gosh did a monologue from Hamlet and Matt, who is playing my son in "Quandary", did a fabulous monologue from I don't know where. I get very excited and start jumping up and down when the kids do good work. I'm not one for delivering cool critiques!) So Mark and I spent approximately five years at Civic Video choosing dvds - I got Cate Blanchette stuff, Mark got some Al Pacino and some anime. We lay in front of the heater with the dog watching movies till we fell asleep, and then woke up and continued watching. I got a message on facebook that exam results were in, and that's when the spectacle began.

I went to the uni online learning site and downloaded the results - I got 35/40. I started jumping up and down and dancing, then Mark threw fuel on the fire by showing me the daggiest dance steps EVER - like "mow the lawn, mow the lawn, drive the bus, drive the bus, and sprinkler, and sprinkler" - I'm sure you can envisage what these look like. Anyhow, the dog now thinks I'm completely mad. Actually, he already thought that. Then I had to go play songs from "Chicago" (which makes Blazie howl...literally...) and "Cabaret" and sing along. Real loud.

What a relief. I can move on to other stuff. Next on the agenda is my interview with the department of education. But what I'm really excited about is "Quandary". AND I had an idea to turn a screenplay I wrote into a stage play. Ugh! So much to do. I'd better not waste my semester break!

But right now I'm going back to finish watching "Angel Heart". After watching "The Wrestler" the other day I had a hankering to remind myself what Mickey Rourke actually looks like.

Cate

Got up, pulled on my ugg boots, was very glad I went out for milk last night. Made porridge and tea and watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I think I know why I avoided watching this film for so long - whenever I watch Cate Blanchette I feel like such a complete FAILURE - like I'm living half a life. Not even half a life. A tiny percentage of my life. It's not pleasant. On the one hand I sit there going "Wow!" She's so graceful, so elegant, so talented, makes such good choices... and so GOOD. And then there's this bitter aftertaste - what the hell am I doing with my life???

I'm going to see Cate onstage in "A Streetcar Named Desire" in October. Lord knows how I'll feel after that. Probably alot like driving under an oncoming truck on the highway on the way home. (I should probably warn Judith, who's coming with me, that this might be the case).

Anyhow, I have drama workshops at the theatre in a couple of hours so I'd better go get organised.

I'm grateful for Cate Blanchette. She reminds that this is not enough. There's more.

Unproductive and Lovin' It

Mmmmm... Great day.

Got up (when I wanted to)... pulled my ugg boots on... made porridge with honey, bran, sunflower seeds and linseeds... turned on the heater... headed for the couch. Watched "Revolutionary Road" (Kate Winslet was fantastic... can't wait to see the one she won the oscar for!) and "The Wrestler". Had a little cry when Mickey Rourke said "The only place I get hurt - is out there" - I hear ya Mickey!

Washed my hair... went to lunch with friends from uni, ate a club sandwich and had a good coffee. Had friends over for a chat, then all drove out to play with the ponies. Then went to dinner at friend's house (home-made pizza and ice-cream cake). Stopped on the way home for dvds, got "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" but just noticed it's 159 minutes long. GROAN... have mercy! We don't all have ALL DAY! Also got a Minnie Driver film, looks interesting... and Will Smith in "Seven Pounds". I'm getting fussy in my old age - I find the big commercial films really disappointing. The best two films I've seen recently have been foreign, one Spanish ("The Orphanage") and one French ("I've Loved You So Long" - Kristen Scott Thomas - awesome!)

But I just realised I forgot to buy milk. Meaning when I wake up and pull on my ugg boots and move to the couch in the morning there'll be no porridge and no cup of tea... I'm gonna have to go back out (It's 9.30pm). The morning couch thing is VERY important.

End of Semester

What a slack blogger I've been!!! Slack, slack, slack... I know, I know...

Here's a quick fill-in. I finished prac, finished my presentation on "cognitive theories of learning" (do NOT ask me what Amy and I talked about for forty minutes as I DO NOT KNOW), finished my essay, finished my portfolio, did my exam this arvo, and am officially finished for the semester. (Pop! Streamers! Confetti! YAY! Little dance... BIG dance!)

I'm now ON HOLIDAYS for AGES. So... it's BOOT CAMP. No more junk food. No more laziness. I'm getting healthy before the onslaught of semester two.

I've added pics of my favourite thing I've been doing - we started on "Quandary" with a weekend workshop and photo shoot. Here's pics of me sitting between my two theatre children, Ann and Matt, at the reading, and the promo shot. All in a police lineup. Cool, huh?

The coolest bit is... did I do it? Am I a murderer? I get to choose - and no-one else will know except me.

It's a Quandary!!!

Sunday Afternoon

I did start my essay last night - but it ground to a halt when I re-read the marking criteria. Evidence of reading widely and deeply is required in the form of quotes and references. Dammit. I had done 600 words (out of 2000) without opening a book.

So today I got up nice and early. I then:
1. Went to tell my neighbour, Neil, that his mate in Kiama phoned me to say he had Neil's lost phone (wierd).
2. Went to quickly feed my horse but ran into friends out there and it was a nice sunny day so hung around chatting and grooming the horses.
3. Got a phonecall from Judith who was in town so went and had coffee. For two hours.
4. Wrote more prose.
5. Had a visit and a chat with Neil.
6. Watched "Bound". Again.
7. Decided a blog was in order.
8. Will shortly go to Neil's house for dinner.

Yeah. See.... Essay schmessay.

Ooh! I almost forgot! I received a call from Cat - the director of "Quandary" - I'm playing Ami - the woman suspected of murdering her husband. YAY!!!

AND I've been having lots of fun writing - not essays, obviously - but check out this site, it's such a fun idea. You have 7 1/2 minutes to contribute to stories with other writers. It's a hoot - and very freeing - www.storytimed.com

I think I have time for a nap before dinner.

Procrastination

I promised myself I would do an essay this weekend. I promised myself I'd finish it. It's a lousy day outside - and I mean lousy. I just took a peek outside and some of my laundry appears to have vanished not only from the clothesline, but from the yard as well. My socks and thermal underwear must be scattered across the neighbourhood. I am ignoring this fact as I don't like it. Ignoring it.

So the better part of my Saturday is gone and here is what I have done:
1. Ate too much.
2. My laundry. Not much good as now it's gone.
3. Chucked some hay in the general vicinity of my horse (we both agreed it was too windy for niceties)
4. Went downtown to buy an ink cartridge for the printer and spent money on dvds.
5. Ate some more.
6. Watched music videos.
7. Watched "Seed of Chucky". AGAIN. (I still laugh out loud).
8. Wrote some prose.
9. Ate. Drank coffee.
10. Watched an online interview.
11. Decided a blog was way overdue.

Now, it may occur to you as it has occurred to me that nowhere in this list did the words "started essay" appear.

And that, ladies and gents, is why I am THE QUEEN of PROCRASTINATION.

Now, what is there to eat... I'm a little hungry... and I wonder if I have any email...

RIP Jack

I just got one of THOSE phonecalls. Mum and Dad just had their gorgeous bull arab, Jack, put to sleep and they did it without giving me a chance to see him or say goodbye so now I'm a blubbering mess and have absolutely no intention of doing anything productive tonight.

Prac has been going well - it isn't easy by any stretch - let's just say today's sixteen year olds don't appreciate Arthur Miller quite the way I do - but I'm learning heaps. I plan to win them over. Poor Jack.

I spent a fair bit of time over the weekend workshopping/auditioning for Judith's play, "Quandary". The director, Cat, is really nice and very switched on so I hope I get to do the show - and the potential cast is very exciting... Pauline, Brian, Ann, Kathy - I love these actors! - I'll keep you posted on that. And the play is great, by the way. A Quandary, indeedy...

I went to the movies with my lovely neighbour two doors down last night. His name is Neil and he's got a gorgeous dog called Winston and he's completely won Blazie over by giving him treats... He slow cooked a great stew yesterday which we had after the movie, it was really nice. Nice. Lame word. But it was. Nice.

Bless you Jack. Everyone loved you cause you were such a lovely, lovely boy. A real beauty. Wish I'd told you goodbye you fine old dog. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday Again

Wow, a week just passed in the blink of an eye - and I didn't get a chance to blog! Mainly because I left my laptop hooked up at my parents house cause I was working on my Wiki assignment there on their PC.

So it's finished now. It's on Death of a Salesman. Here it is - Tah-Dah!

Hello world, what did I miss?

Well, the temperature has dropped significantly. I've had to turn on the gas heater, even though I said I wasn't going to. I think my ass has spread in direct proportion to the amount of time I've spent sitting on it lately. Working. But sitting nonetheless. Except today - I've been riding. Sakie was none too impressed! But it was lovely, as always, and everyone was there.

My after school workshops started up again yesterday, the older group were absolutely priceless. We played theatresports, and they had me falling about laughing. They were spontaneous and hilarious and bold and wonderful - I'm so excited about working with them. Wow! I feel lucky!

Next weekend I'll be doing an audition/workshop for a play that Judith (the director of Agnes of God) wrote. It's being directed by a director from out of town. Should be a fun process. I got acting itchy feet already. (It doesn't take long!)

I start prac teaching five days a week this week so I'm off to read the novel I'll be teaching Year 7 (I would've read it before now, but Wiki, Wiki, Wiki...) I'll read it right after I finish reading "Porcupine".

Brrrr. I'm hungry.

Wiki, Wiki, Wiki...

Hey Wiki, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Wiki!
Hey Wiki!

He, he, he... I think I may have lost my only mind...

Been working on a Wiki all day. YAAAAWN! STREEEEETCH! I guess it's on it's way... so far I haven't come across any COMPLETELY irresolvable issues. Which is really saying something considering how technologically unsound I am. Although I should stop saying that. I'm blogging. I'm Twittering. I'm Wiki-ing. I'm evolving - it's painful - but I am evolving.

The weather has gone feral. Icy. Windy. Pretty good weather for assignment doing. I visited the Sacred pony and put my hands up under her rug - it's real toasty under there and I'm glad of that. It's bad enough she has to stand out in it, let alone feel it!

Meanwhile I have a head that feels like concrete. Mmmmmm... flu... Been wearing a beanie all day. Not many people saw. I hope.

So I've done all my brain can handle for the day and I'm turning in.

Sweet dreams!

Hey!

Hey A___! You've told me you can not access this blog and so can't read it and so, as threatened, I'm gonna write what I like.

Goddamn girl - that sms-a-thon this morning has left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like it's a backlash - the natural consequence - of opening myself up to you. I mean, what the - ?

A word from the profoundly un-wise to you who are not reading this - stop comparing your situation to that of everyone around you. I'm afraid, if you really get down to brass tacks, you will actually find you are doing just fine and have absolutely nothing to worry about. You are beautiful. Your life is beautiful. Just slip into those Italian stockings (direct from Italy), those stilettos and those pearls and try if you could to refrain from snapping my head off because I'm closing my eyes and dreaming myself out of my current reality.

Jeez!

Sniff!

Flu's here in earnest - oh misery! Wearin' all my clothes again. Lots of jumpers, socks, ugg boots. Look like the Michelin man. My neighbour at college in 19... er... 1989... jeez... used to call me Michelin. Nice!

I did what I threatened to do last night. I curled up with my new book "Porcupine" till I fell asleep. It was great. I slept for another ten hours - I swear I could sleep for a week at present. I think it's the never-ending nagging "you have an assignment to do" sensation that's wearing me down!

I spent another day on the soccer field today observing. It's a pity I felt so crappy - in the last two days I developed just the tiniest spark of enthusiasm for soccer ('cause I need another hobby...) The coach made us play some of the games and I found myself getting ever-so-slightly competetive - I found myself sprinting up and down for all I was worth despite my stinging throat and exploding lungs. And I scored two tries - er - toachdowns - er GOALS! Yeah, I did that - then ran around with my arms in the air like David Beckham (with my shirt still on of course). I should probably mention, to be fair, that the individuals I was competing against were all in primary school and approximately three feet tall - and they thoroughly "smashed" (their word) us uni girls about 95% of the time.

OK. Assignment. Let's go.

Oh Lordy...

Everything I try to do on my little Mac for Uni just doesn't work! All that I seem to be able to do right right now - is blog!

Hello!

I'm coming down with the flu after my big trail ride on Sunday and a day spent standing in the cold rain on a soccer field today (no, not my idea of fun... another university "community day"... grrrr!). And this is a bit of a worry as I have ALOT to do in the next couple of weeks before I start prac teaching. So here I sit, sniffling and snuffling, wearing all my clothes at once, and seriously considering hitting the sack with a non-uni related book.

I had friends over last night and we drank lots of cheap red wine - in a cask. Now I really feel like a student again. My "Bound" dvd turned up in the mail yesterday - excellent timing - so we watched that. I hadn't seen it in ten years and it has definitely stood the test of time!

Now here we are, me and my fine old bear, all alone again and it's getting cold. Real cold. And I'm getting worried about deadlines and what the hell am I doing with my life? I got offered a part in that tv pilot I auditioned for last week but I lost it again because one of the shoot dates clashed with one of my community days for uni and my after school drama workshops at the theatre. This is the first time I have ever, ever allowed anything else to take priority over acting and I am not familiar with the concept and not sure how I feel about it. I have long felt the need to develop a real-life ability to actually be in two places at once. This is one of those times when that would be a real handy skill.

Sigh.

Better go see what I can get done. Wish me luck!

Home again

Thanks Amy - we did our very, very best... and after a couple of beroccas this morning we did have a burst of productivity, so all was not lost! I slept like a log in Amy's house, though apparently the beautiful labrador was terribly noisy and kept her mummy awake. I didn't hear a thing.

I drove home, got changed, picked up the dog - found my parents in the midst of a domestic (Dad was sitting in the car in the garage with a beer, sulking) - and went horseriding. Thankfully Sacred was prepared to walk today... oops! Visitor is here. More later!

Random Thoughts On Productivity

*waves* Hi! Believe it or not, this isn't Michelle! My name's Amy, and I'm guest blogging today :)

Currently, Michelle is absorbed reading a chapter of the immensely shiny book, The Brain That Changes Itself, which discusses the newish concept of neuro-plasticity. Fascinating stuff, actually.

And, believe it or not, it's actually relevant to what we're supposed to be doing (unlike our brief interlude just now to watch Christian the lion on tv O:)): our Ed Foundations presentation. Sadly, although we've been 'working' on it for 4 hours now, we've not made terribly much progress. The textbook is so dry, so boring.... Really, I can understand why the other groups have resorted to a mere recapitulation of the text :S Ack.

We're struggling just to get through the material, let alone process it and come up with creative ways to present it. *stab stab*

And the most frustrating thing is that I know this information could be interesting if we could only wade through it :S

But, we are determined to do so, and to not only do so but to create an interesting presentation out of it, so I really should get back to it. Really. I should.

Sadly, I suspect that instead I shall go do a post on my blog for day... Oh well. There's always tomorrow!

O:)

Trail Ride

Wow I'm sore! Today was the big trail ride that we've been practising for all week. I got up early, packed my lunch, and headed out to the property. Sacred was gone but Cindy's horses were still there so I guessed that she'd had trouble with hers and taken mine first - which was right. When she got back we all tackled the issue and eventually got the very determined Diesel and the even more determined Buddy onto the float.

The ride itself was basically pretty scarey. It was beautiful country on the other side of Goulburn, but very rocky and very hilly terrain - fortunately I had Sacred shod yesterday or I would've felt pretty bad! As we departed Sacred commenced trotting down the hill and would not settle. My heart was in my mouth because I felt that I did not have her in hand - very unsettling. I kept telling myself that she would calm down once she'd used up a bit of energy but unfortunately this point never came! At one stage I said to Cindy "I want to get off and walk!"

"You are not getting off!" she said. "You've got control of her. Just put your butt down in the saddle."

She said this just as we passed through a narrow gateway and took a sharp turn around a tree. Suddenly, Sacred got wire wrapped around her back legs and bolted. For a few seconds I thought I could still hear the wire around her legs and I thought "Great, she'll never stop. I'm f#*@ed!" I held her head down as she bolted past all the other riders and finally I turned her around. She then started dancing backwards, I kicked her forwards, and she stopped. I jumped off - I needed to feel my feet on solid ground. I was so relieved - I was pretty sure the whole thing was going to end in disaster. At this point I noticed Buddy bolt past - without Cindy. He had taken fright when Sacred bolted, shied, and poor Cindy had fallen. After a moment we both got back on - Cindy a bit worse for wear - and continued.

I felt calmer after that for some reason. Despite my calm, however, Sacred absolutely refused to walk. She jogged the whole way - this mincy, bouncy little trot. I kept lining her up directly behind nice big old stable WALKING horses, but when she couldn't pass she just jogged on the spot. In the end I was just laughing - it was so uncomfortable - I was looking at all the lovely big walking horses and I was so jealous - their riders looked so comfortable while I was copping a major ass-hammering - and I realised that Sacred, being an Arabian, was never actually likely to run out of steam. And she didn't. Not in three hours!

So now I'm home, it's kind of rainy and cold, and I'm gonna have a long hot shower, cuddle with the dog on the couch with a doona, and watch a dvd. Bliss. Homework can wait. My butt's too sore!

Saturday Morning

I slept for almost twelve hours last night - am feeling pretty lousy right now, like curling up in a ball and not facing the world. Don't know why - yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, didn't get stuck in the library for too long, went horseriding, everyone was there, it was fun... but I got home and just sort of shut down and I don't feel much better now. Now and then I just get this sense of dread, like "Oh my God, what am I doing... is this my life?" Anyway, I'm going riding again shortly, so I gotta face the world, so that's a good thing.

More later I guess.

My Books Are Here! My Books Are Here!

My books are here! (In case you missed the title of this blog.) They arrived this morning. By the way - I have to recommend http://www.scribblygumbooks.com.au/ - they were the only online bookstore I found with all the titles I was after - all were reasonably priced and all arrived in good time (despite my complete lack of patience) and perfect condition. So, I now have "Porcupine" and "First Time" to add to "Singing Songs" and "Gemma" to make the complete Meg Tilly collection and in time for some holiday reading, too!

I spent today in the library observing - it's a uni assignment and not my best fun idea of a holiday activity. It was a really sunny day and I spent it inside. Have to do the same tomorrow. As soon as I finished I raced home, got changed, collected the dog, and went horseriding before it got too cold. I am having the best time with Sacred. Because the others are all out there riding too it's heaps of fun and Sakie's having a blast, so am I - and so is Blaze! I'm just cooking him some pasta for tea, he's all tuckered out again.

Tonight I must clean my house, do some filing, and write a thousand words (about my library observations) and then I'm going to reward myself with either a book or a dvd. Don't know which. See how the spirit moves me.

I just realised my groceries have been sitting on the kitchen floor since lunchtime - I'd better do something...

Lucky Day

I've been to Sydney for the day with young Mark. Did my TV pilot audition. Pretty funny script - documentary-style - did a cold read, deadpan, Not sure I'm right for either part I read for. The part I really liked was too young for me - she had great "blonde" lines... like (this is set in a french class) "Excuse me, Jean, if I am talking to my boss, but my boss is a child, do I use 'tu' or 'vous'?" - I really liked that line! Anyhow, wait and see...

Then Mark and I SHOPPED. Big time. We were visiting comic book stores for him, and he was getting depressed 'cause everything he wanted was ridiculously expensive. We walked past this second-hand bookstore and I felt myself drawn in, so in we went. Mark found a treasure trove of old spiderman comics, real cheap, and while he scoured through boxes of those I wandered around - hoping I wouldn't stumble across the books I have on order and am still waiting for. I discovered a handful of dvds and began absent-mindedly flicking through them. I couldn't believe my eyes - I found an old Meg Tilly film that is not available anymore - not in Australia anyway. I grabbed it and ran back to Mark. We were both SO excited - this little shop that called us in had gifts for us both! I love that - in a great big city, out of all the streets and all the shops - you find yourself standing right where you're meant to be. Like the universe is saying "You're on the right track!" Like it's dropping you a breadcrumb.

I'm going to watch my Meg Tilly film now.

Another Day In Paradise

I wish it could be Easter holidays forever!!!

I've been riding again - Sacred is an angel - and Blazie has been rolling in I don't wanna know what but he's real pleased with himself. He was asleep on the couch all day today after yesterday's adventure but he managed to find the energy to do it all again. When we got back from the ride one of the little girls wanted to use the toilet but was too scared because of spiders so I very kindly volunteered to go in first to do a spider check. Very kind indeed 'cause I think I'm scareder of spiders than anyone. So I did the spider check and was in the process of kicking a ginormous spider corpse out the toilie door when my forty-seven kilo dog decided to run under the one leg I had planted on the ground. For a second I was airborne, then I hit the cement, two steps down, with a crunch. Now my shoulder hurts. And my teeth. I'll say I did it horseriding, which is sorta true.

The Best Day Ever

Remember I said Friday was the best day ever? I have to make an amendment to that statement. TODAY is the best day ever...

But I'll start with last night - I picked up Mark, we went to the dvd store and hired out four Al Pacino films (for him) and one Jennifer Tilly film (for me) - (by the way, WHY are her films so hard to find!!!) - then we went home. Seth and Amanda came over with Jeordie and Layne and I cooked fish & chips and we all played guitar hero - well, Mark and I played while everyone else watched. After the others left Mark and I dozed off watching Al Pacino films.

This morning I cooked us porridge, dropped Mark home and went out to the property. I met up with Cindy, Kirralee, Chiana, Amanda and Jeordie and we all saddled up and went for a trail ride and it was HEAVEN. It was overcast, raining slightly but not enough to be annoying. The dogs were running along beside us. At one point I turned to look for Blaze and found him, soaking wet, muddy, bounding through long grass with a big grin on his face, and then I looked around at all my new friends on their horses, all chatting and happy because everything was perfect and the horses made such a great team - except Kirralee had to turn back on Buddy because he started pigrooting - and I looked down at my beautiful Sacred, who I've been through so much with and who I've held on to even when I had no idea how I could manage (and a sensible person would have parted with her) - and I thought, "I am HAPPY. Every decision that I've made has brought me here- and it's SO SIMPLE." So simple, after all.

And the best thing of all - I'm home now, sitting at my desk, damp dog sound asleep, and it has started pouring rain!

Now, off to do my assignment....

Why Are People So Complicated?

Seriously, why?

Two of my friends are missing in action... one was meant to be coming to visit me for "Agnes of God" and overslept and didn't make it and then VANISHED completely and hasn't replied to any messages... another just stopped replying to messages some time in the last few weeks and I WORRY. I worry. I know life has to be complicated or it's not worth living, but come on!!!! I love my beautiful complicated friends, I love them and will till I die - but where are they? I get worried.

I've been horseriding again. Nice and uncomplicated. No-one was out there except me. After my ride I sat in the sun and watched Sacred graze. It was blissfully peaceful.

I'm having people over for some serious guitar hero tonight. Nice and uncomplicated.

Sigh.

Why?

It's Easter so I might go eat some chocolate now.

Fire Show

I'm tired and I really need to go to bed.... but before I do I just need to post how wonderful the kids were in the Fire Show tonight - wow! They're so talented and gorgeous. I'm proud to know them. My heart's all warm. I'm going to have a hot milk and go to bed.

Early Rising

I was all keen to sleep in until late this morning, but 6am and I was wide awake. I went over to Fiona's house last night - only her and Mark are home. Al and Katrina have gone on a motorbiking holiday together - so cool! So the three of us watched a new Al Pacino movie - "88 Minutes". Mark LOVES Al Pacino, and I love how he loves Al Pacino. Mark is going to be such a great actor, I can tell. He just gets it. I have to go to Sydney on Wednesday to audition for a TV pilot and I'm going to take Mark so he can see what happens. I think one of the things for country kids is they develop this idea that the city is scarey and auditioning in the city is a whole different ball game - but it's not. It's the same. If they're gifted in the country, they're gifted in the city! They can do anything.

It's overcast again but I'm still going riding. Sacred and I are going on a four hour trail ride in a week so we need at least a bit of practise.

After that I'm going down to the park because the youth theatre are performing a Fire Show - all acrobatics and stuff - with fire. Can't wait to see it.

I've just thought through my two week holiday... I have to do two days observation in the library for uni, two days observation at the police youth club, two days in Canberra with Amy working on our group presentation and one day in Sydney to audition. Then there's the big trail ride day... I had really better get stuck into the assignment due the first week back before I run out of days... because once my new books get here... it's all over!!!!

Back in the Saddle

This is the best day ever.

I met Amanda and her lovely daughter Jeordie out at the property and we gave our horses a bit of beautifying (Sacred had a mohawk where her bridle path should have been so I took the clippers to that!). Then we saddled up and walked around the arena a few times. Little Jeordie trotted and cantered around on Rufus, looking for all the world like she was born in a saddle. "Stop it!" I called out - "You're putting me to shame!" - Oh well, what can I expect. I was most definitely NOT born in a saddle. My ass did not hit the saddle till I was in my thirties. I think it's fair to say I will never look as comfortable as Jeordie up there!

We decided to go for a ride around Ivy and Rufus' paddock. It was awesome. Blaze came along for a run. Naturally he had to pause to throw himself into every available body of water... the dam, puddles... the filthier the better...

Considering I haven't been riding in probably six months Sacred was very well behaved. By which I mean she did not attempt to dislodge me from her back. She is such a good, kind girl. Apart from her inclination to start running as soon as we turned home she was an angel! I'm going again tomorrow. Tomorrow, if the sun comes out, I'm gonna give her a bath, too!

After the ride I decided to go to McDonald's. I like McDonald's on public holidays. I like looking at all the families with their cars all packed going places together. It's nice. I had Blaze in the car so I went through drive-thru. As I ordered I got that tap on the shoulder from Agnes again. "One fillet-o-fish meal, please. With diet coke." I used to chuckle at that when I worked at Macca's. "I'll have one big fat lard burger, please, with a side of carbs fried in oil - oh, and a diet coke, please." 'Cause I'm watching my calories...

Now it's all overcast and I hope it rains. I've watched a dvd and read over a play that I wrote. I hadn't looked at it in ages - I think it's good! I might take it to someone at the theatre to look at.

The dog is asleep again. Big day for the little bear. Little bear, that's what I call him. When people say "He is not little!" I reply "For a bear, he's really quite small".

Woo-hoo!

I made it!!! Holidays are here, holidays are here... little holiday dance...

I ate a LOT of chocolate at uni today - we all had to exchange eggs and scoff them immediately. Then I giggled my way through two hours of English like a year seven student. Sugar high. The tutor said something about a poem about birds on a wire, and Elizabeth started humming "Kookaburra sits on electric wire..." and I cracked up as I recalled the rest of that song from my childhood years... "Jumping up and down with his b#@*s on fire..." When we discussed this later we had a slight disagreement. The others thought the words were actually "Jumping up and down with his pants on fire". Bec asked me when was the last time I saw a kookaburra's b#@*s? I asked when was the last time she saw a kookaburra in pants? Touche, said Amy. Real mature.

I ventured to the supermarket on the way home from uni - BIG MISTAKE! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else in the whole world was there, too. I wouldn't have gone either except there was nothing festive in my fridge and tomorrow is a public holiday and I would've been sorry when all I had to eat on good Friday was a can of tuna and some frozen corn. Now I have hot cross buns, chocolate eggs, steak, sausages... as I was leaving Sister Agnes tapped me on the shoulder and said in her sweet little way "Excuse me, Michelle - you should not have red meat on Good Friday, you should have fish".

"But Agnes", I reasoned, "I'm not exactly a practising Catholic..." She seemed so disappointed - she didn't seem to understand. I caved. I bought crumbed fish. I do have frozen french fries in the freezer, I thought. It'll be nice.

So there you are, Agnes. But I am NOT going to Church!

My books didn't arrive. I'll have to wait till next week now... GROAN!!! (See how patient I am?) I shall have to read OTHER books. And tomorrow I go horseriding. Now, if I blog tomorrow and I am sitting at home instead of horseriding... well if I do that I am being very, very, very bad.

Sometimes A Dawg Just Gits Plum Tuckered Out

Did I mention how I love the dog? Lord how I love the dog!

He's sleepin' like a baby right now 'cause he's had a mighty big afternoon. We went out to feed Sacred, and despite the chill factor Blaze thought it might be a good idea and commenced gingerly climbing into Sacred's water trough. "No..." I warned him - "you have just had a bath". (I might add at this juncture that bathing a 47kg long-haired dog is no mean feat.) Suitably chastised, Blaze removed his paw from the trough and retreated like the good old boy he is.

At this point I thought it might be a fine idea to go for a late afternoon stroll with some other dog owners who were there. Yep. Feelin' fine. A nice relaxin' walk. Just what the doctor ordered after a long day in school. Blazie thought it was a damn fine idea, too. He and the other dogs ducked and dodged and leapt about like pups. Ahhh - bliss!

Then I noticed Blazie vanish into a little gully. Just his tail visible. What's he up to? Found himself a puddle, he did. Bit of a puddle after the weekend's downpour. Wanted to get himself a bit of a drink. No problem! Then I watched in horror as he plunged in up to his chin, swam about, emerged - threw himself onto his back in the mud and rolled about with glee. Finally he stood up, smiling from ear to ear, dog stuff well and truly attended to. I bent double laughing. "I love you!" I shouted. "God, I love you!"

So now the car smells like wet dog and so does the house. The dog is sound asleep and not interested in conversation.

My books didn't arrive yet... so I went to hire a dvd... and the dvd won't play... grrrrr! I had such an urge to watch "Seed of Chucky". So now I've been online shopping for dvds and it's all the dvd shop's fault! I didn't buy "Seed of Chucky", though. I bought "Bound" instead. And now I have to wait for it to arrive... like my books.... (sitting here tapping my fingers like the mailman might miraculously appear right now at 11pm...)

One more day till holidays!!!!!

Cross your fingers my books get here tomorrow before all the Easter public holidays!

Got Eggs

I'm back. Got eggs. I noticed something. There's a real Goulburn Winter chill in the air tonight. It was all dark by 7.30pm - daylight savings has really finished. (Not that I noticed at the time - I walked around a full day in my usual solitary bubble not knowing...)

But that chill - every year I forget what it's like! Spring comes and then Summer and I forget - just clean forget - about the short, dark days. Frozen fingers. Naked trees. Frosted dead brown grass. Snowing somewhere. Just not here. Too much eating. Too tight jeans. Ugh! I remember now. A shudder of dread. Seasonal mood disorder, anyone? (I'm only half kidding!)

Time to rug up my pony before she evolves into some kind of long-haired Mongolian mountain goat. She's way too pretty for that.

Aching ears. Runny nose. How many months till Spring?

OK, I'm making a promise - hold me to it - gonna embrace the short, dark days. Stay inside. Sleep late. Eat what I like. Not feel guilty. Ignore the mirror. Ignore the scales. Do my homework. Do my reading (no, not the uni stuff - the literary stuff). Get my assignments in on time...

Gotta stop myself there 'cause I'm laughing out loud. Even as I write that I know full well I'll be out playing with my horse and finding something to do at the theatre every chance I get, Winter or not! Been planning to be a reclusive academic for decades. Never happens!

Sigh.

Exhaustipation

Two more days. Two more days till holidays! So much to read, so much to write. Saying a quiet little prayer that the postman gets to my house before the Easter break with my new books. Got some serious plans for chocolate eggs, hot cross buns, coupla books, and my doona - after I have virtuously exercised myself and my horse, of course. Hey - my horse, of course - I'm a poet, and I know it! Yep, virtue is my middle name.

Just two more niggly assignmenty bits to finish and I'm done. Could be doing 'em now. Have 'em taken care of before dinner. But where's the fun in that? I procrastinate, therefore I am.

Speaking of procrastinating, it just occurred to me that I should definitely go downtown and buy an Easter egg for my mentor teacher. Yeah... that's what I should be doing!!!

Hasta la Vista!

Life is Good

Bring it on! Just finished the last of my major assignments due before the Easter break. Oooooooh! Can't wait... gonna sleep! Gonna eat! Gonna ride my horse (that's right Sacred, you and I are gonna EXERCISE. Both of us!) Gonna read. I have two more books on order and I just know they're gonna arrive before Easter so I can enjoy 'em.

Yep. Life is good. Life is real good!

All Over

It's all over. Show's over. As they always are, eventually. Now and then though a character gets so under my skin I don't quite know how to let her go.

Sitting in a restaurant yesterday after bumpout with some of the others tucking into an enormous banana split with chocolate topping and crushed nuts and it hits me. Hits me hard. So hard my heart suddenly hurts like crazy and I burst into tears right then and there. It's over, and I have to let her slip away and be just me again. I miss her already!

Time for a break. No more characters for awhile. (Just a little while.)

Back to uni today like nothing ever happened. But it did.

Oh Boy

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I can't sleep - I missed a whole night's sleep on Thursday night. I went on a leave of absence during the show last night. Apparently it was a great show. Should I be insulted? I'm better when I'm not there, lol!

Need a big, big sleep. Don't know when that will be...

The Girl in the Front Row

It's been quite a day and it's time for bed. My first day in a school and what I remember most is the girl in the front row sitting by herself with the glasses and the long, long hair - putting her head in her hands, shaking her head, muttering to herself... what is going on? I thought "My God - it's Agnes! I have to talk to her." But I didn't. I thought, she might die of humiliation if I draw the whole class' attention to her. So I didn't. I had tears in my eyes.

Great show tonight. I'm cherishing every moment. Trying to make time stand still. For a couple of hours, it actually does.

Mx

Singing Songs

In the never-ending tug-of-war that I loosely call time management the book has won out over all other considerations. I've been waiting for it. I've earned it. Everything else can wait!

Mx

Hello...

DOCTOR: How do you feel?
AGNES: Frightened.

Dear Agnes, what a journey this has been. If anyone had told me twelve months ago I would be playing a twenty-one year old girl who is sweet and innocent and naiive and who sings i would have said "No way!" And yet here you are and you've completely changed my life. I can't believe it will all be over soon. I don't know how I'll say goodbye. And I hope you will leave something, some little part of yourself, with me.

Well, here I am, creating a blog. Tomorrow is my first day in a school. There is, in all probability, preparation to be done. There is definitely preparation to be done for Uni on Thursday. And there is "Agnes" tomorrow night. But I am happily - creating a blog! My procrastination skills seem to be even more highly developed now than last time I went to university in 19.... 19... so long ago! To complicate matters a book has just arrived in the mail - the first of the Meg Tilly books I have ordered - "Singing Songs" and I can't wait to read it! In fact I would be prepared to bet money that before this evening is through I have succumbed to the call of tucking myself into bed and reading it through to the last page.

But right now an even greater call overcomes me. Pepperonini Pizza. And the dog claims he needs feeding. I must go. But I'll be back.
Mx

PS: Thankyou Amy for all the great stuff you've shown me. Blogging included. How exciting!