Cate

Got up, pulled on my ugg boots, was very glad I went out for milk last night. Made porridge and tea and watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I think I know why I avoided watching this film for so long - whenever I watch Cate Blanchette I feel like such a complete FAILURE - like I'm living half a life. Not even half a life. A tiny percentage of my life. It's not pleasant. On the one hand I sit there going "Wow!" She's so graceful, so elegant, so talented, makes such good choices... and so GOOD. And then there's this bitter aftertaste - what the hell am I doing with my life???

I'm going to see Cate onstage in "A Streetcar Named Desire" in October. Lord knows how I'll feel after that. Probably alot like driving under an oncoming truck on the highway on the way home. (I should probably warn Judith, who's coming with me, that this might be the case).

Anyhow, I have drama workshops at the theatre in a couple of hours so I'd better go get organised.

I'm grateful for Cate Blanchette. She reminds that this is not enough. There's more.