Wiki, Wiki, Wiki...

Hey Wiki, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Wiki!
Hey Wiki!

He, he, he... I think I may have lost my only mind...

Been working on a Wiki all day. YAAAAWN! STREEEEETCH! I guess it's on it's way... so far I haven't come across any COMPLETELY irresolvable issues. Which is really saying something considering how technologically unsound I am. Although I should stop saying that. I'm blogging. I'm Twittering. I'm Wiki-ing. I'm evolving - it's painful - but I am evolving.

The weather has gone feral. Icy. Windy. Pretty good weather for assignment doing. I visited the Sacred pony and put my hands up under her rug - it's real toasty under there and I'm glad of that. It's bad enough she has to stand out in it, let alone feel it!

Meanwhile I have a head that feels like concrete. Mmmmmm... flu... Been wearing a beanie all day. Not many people saw. I hope.

So I've done all my brain can handle for the day and I'm turning in.

Sweet dreams!

Hey!

Hey A___! You've told me you can not access this blog and so can't read it and so, as threatened, I'm gonna write what I like.

Goddamn girl - that sms-a-thon this morning has left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like it's a backlash - the natural consequence - of opening myself up to you. I mean, what the - ?

A word from the profoundly un-wise to you who are not reading this - stop comparing your situation to that of everyone around you. I'm afraid, if you really get down to brass tacks, you will actually find you are doing just fine and have absolutely nothing to worry about. You are beautiful. Your life is beautiful. Just slip into those Italian stockings (direct from Italy), those stilettos and those pearls and try if you could to refrain from snapping my head off because I'm closing my eyes and dreaming myself out of my current reality.

Jeez!

Sniff!

Flu's here in earnest - oh misery! Wearin' all my clothes again. Lots of jumpers, socks, ugg boots. Look like the Michelin man. My neighbour at college in 19... er... 1989... jeez... used to call me Michelin. Nice!

I did what I threatened to do last night. I curled up with my new book "Porcupine" till I fell asleep. It was great. I slept for another ten hours - I swear I could sleep for a week at present. I think it's the never-ending nagging "you have an assignment to do" sensation that's wearing me down!

I spent another day on the soccer field today observing. It's a pity I felt so crappy - in the last two days I developed just the tiniest spark of enthusiasm for soccer ('cause I need another hobby...) The coach made us play some of the games and I found myself getting ever-so-slightly competetive - I found myself sprinting up and down for all I was worth despite my stinging throat and exploding lungs. And I scored two tries - er - toachdowns - er GOALS! Yeah, I did that - then ran around with my arms in the air like David Beckham (with my shirt still on of course). I should probably mention, to be fair, that the individuals I was competing against were all in primary school and approximately three feet tall - and they thoroughly "smashed" (their word) us uni girls about 95% of the time.

OK. Assignment. Let's go.

Oh Lordy...

Everything I try to do on my little Mac for Uni just doesn't work! All that I seem to be able to do right right now - is blog!

Hello!

I'm coming down with the flu after my big trail ride on Sunday and a day spent standing in the cold rain on a soccer field today (no, not my idea of fun... another university "community day"... grrrr!). And this is a bit of a worry as I have ALOT to do in the next couple of weeks before I start prac teaching. So here I sit, sniffling and snuffling, wearing all my clothes at once, and seriously considering hitting the sack with a non-uni related book.

I had friends over last night and we drank lots of cheap red wine - in a cask. Now I really feel like a student again. My "Bound" dvd turned up in the mail yesterday - excellent timing - so we watched that. I hadn't seen it in ten years and it has definitely stood the test of time!

Now here we are, me and my fine old bear, all alone again and it's getting cold. Real cold. And I'm getting worried about deadlines and what the hell am I doing with my life? I got offered a part in that tv pilot I auditioned for last week but I lost it again because one of the shoot dates clashed with one of my community days for uni and my after school drama workshops at the theatre. This is the first time I have ever, ever allowed anything else to take priority over acting and I am not familiar with the concept and not sure how I feel about it. I have long felt the need to develop a real-life ability to actually be in two places at once. This is one of those times when that would be a real handy skill.

Sigh.

Better go see what I can get done. Wish me luck!

Home again

Thanks Amy - we did our very, very best... and after a couple of beroccas this morning we did have a burst of productivity, so all was not lost! I slept like a log in Amy's house, though apparently the beautiful labrador was terribly noisy and kept her mummy awake. I didn't hear a thing.

I drove home, got changed, picked up the dog - found my parents in the midst of a domestic (Dad was sitting in the car in the garage with a beer, sulking) - and went horseriding. Thankfully Sacred was prepared to walk today... oops! Visitor is here. More later!

Random Thoughts On Productivity

*waves* Hi! Believe it or not, this isn't Michelle! My name's Amy, and I'm guest blogging today :)

Currently, Michelle is absorbed reading a chapter of the immensely shiny book, The Brain That Changes Itself, which discusses the newish concept of neuro-plasticity. Fascinating stuff, actually.

And, believe it or not, it's actually relevant to what we're supposed to be doing (unlike our brief interlude just now to watch Christian the lion on tv O:)): our Ed Foundations presentation. Sadly, although we've been 'working' on it for 4 hours now, we've not made terribly much progress. The textbook is so dry, so boring.... Really, I can understand why the other groups have resorted to a mere recapitulation of the text :S Ack.

We're struggling just to get through the material, let alone process it and come up with creative ways to present it. *stab stab*

And the most frustrating thing is that I know this information could be interesting if we could only wade through it :S

But, we are determined to do so, and to not only do so but to create an interesting presentation out of it, so I really should get back to it. Really. I should.

Sadly, I suspect that instead I shall go do a post on my blog for day... Oh well. There's always tomorrow!

O:)

Trail Ride

Wow I'm sore! Today was the big trail ride that we've been practising for all week. I got up early, packed my lunch, and headed out to the property. Sacred was gone but Cindy's horses were still there so I guessed that she'd had trouble with hers and taken mine first - which was right. When she got back we all tackled the issue and eventually got the very determined Diesel and the even more determined Buddy onto the float.

The ride itself was basically pretty scarey. It was beautiful country on the other side of Goulburn, but very rocky and very hilly terrain - fortunately I had Sacred shod yesterday or I would've felt pretty bad! As we departed Sacred commenced trotting down the hill and would not settle. My heart was in my mouth because I felt that I did not have her in hand - very unsettling. I kept telling myself that she would calm down once she'd used up a bit of energy but unfortunately this point never came! At one stage I said to Cindy "I want to get off and walk!"

"You are not getting off!" she said. "You've got control of her. Just put your butt down in the saddle."

She said this just as we passed through a narrow gateway and took a sharp turn around a tree. Suddenly, Sacred got wire wrapped around her back legs and bolted. For a few seconds I thought I could still hear the wire around her legs and I thought "Great, she'll never stop. I'm f#*@ed!" I held her head down as she bolted past all the other riders and finally I turned her around. She then started dancing backwards, I kicked her forwards, and she stopped. I jumped off - I needed to feel my feet on solid ground. I was so relieved - I was pretty sure the whole thing was going to end in disaster. At this point I noticed Buddy bolt past - without Cindy. He had taken fright when Sacred bolted, shied, and poor Cindy had fallen. After a moment we both got back on - Cindy a bit worse for wear - and continued.

I felt calmer after that for some reason. Despite my calm, however, Sacred absolutely refused to walk. She jogged the whole way - this mincy, bouncy little trot. I kept lining her up directly behind nice big old stable WALKING horses, but when she couldn't pass she just jogged on the spot. In the end I was just laughing - it was so uncomfortable - I was looking at all the lovely big walking horses and I was so jealous - their riders looked so comfortable while I was copping a major ass-hammering - and I realised that Sacred, being an Arabian, was never actually likely to run out of steam. And she didn't. Not in three hours!

So now I'm home, it's kind of rainy and cold, and I'm gonna have a long hot shower, cuddle with the dog on the couch with a doona, and watch a dvd. Bliss. Homework can wait. My butt's too sore!

Saturday Morning

I slept for almost twelve hours last night - am feeling pretty lousy right now, like curling up in a ball and not facing the world. Don't know why - yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, didn't get stuck in the library for too long, went horseriding, everyone was there, it was fun... but I got home and just sort of shut down and I don't feel much better now. Now and then I just get this sense of dread, like "Oh my God, what am I doing... is this my life?" Anyway, I'm going riding again shortly, so I gotta face the world, so that's a good thing.

More later I guess.

My Books Are Here! My Books Are Here!

My books are here! (In case you missed the title of this blog.) They arrived this morning. By the way - I have to recommend http://www.scribblygumbooks.com.au/ - they were the only online bookstore I found with all the titles I was after - all were reasonably priced and all arrived in good time (despite my complete lack of patience) and perfect condition. So, I now have "Porcupine" and "First Time" to add to "Singing Songs" and "Gemma" to make the complete Meg Tilly collection and in time for some holiday reading, too!

I spent today in the library observing - it's a uni assignment and not my best fun idea of a holiday activity. It was a really sunny day and I spent it inside. Have to do the same tomorrow. As soon as I finished I raced home, got changed, collected the dog, and went horseriding before it got too cold. I am having the best time with Sacred. Because the others are all out there riding too it's heaps of fun and Sakie's having a blast, so am I - and so is Blaze! I'm just cooking him some pasta for tea, he's all tuckered out again.

Tonight I must clean my house, do some filing, and write a thousand words (about my library observations) and then I'm going to reward myself with either a book or a dvd. Don't know which. See how the spirit moves me.

I just realised my groceries have been sitting on the kitchen floor since lunchtime - I'd better do something...

Lucky Day

I've been to Sydney for the day with young Mark. Did my TV pilot audition. Pretty funny script - documentary-style - did a cold read, deadpan, Not sure I'm right for either part I read for. The part I really liked was too young for me - she had great "blonde" lines... like (this is set in a french class) "Excuse me, Jean, if I am talking to my boss, but my boss is a child, do I use 'tu' or 'vous'?" - I really liked that line! Anyhow, wait and see...

Then Mark and I SHOPPED. Big time. We were visiting comic book stores for him, and he was getting depressed 'cause everything he wanted was ridiculously expensive. We walked past this second-hand bookstore and I felt myself drawn in, so in we went. Mark found a treasure trove of old spiderman comics, real cheap, and while he scoured through boxes of those I wandered around - hoping I wouldn't stumble across the books I have on order and am still waiting for. I discovered a handful of dvds and began absent-mindedly flicking through them. I couldn't believe my eyes - I found an old Meg Tilly film that is not available anymore - not in Australia anyway. I grabbed it and ran back to Mark. We were both SO excited - this little shop that called us in had gifts for us both! I love that - in a great big city, out of all the streets and all the shops - you find yourself standing right where you're meant to be. Like the universe is saying "You're on the right track!" Like it's dropping you a breadcrumb.

I'm going to watch my Meg Tilly film now.

Another Day In Paradise

I wish it could be Easter holidays forever!!!

I've been riding again - Sacred is an angel - and Blazie has been rolling in I don't wanna know what but he's real pleased with himself. He was asleep on the couch all day today after yesterday's adventure but he managed to find the energy to do it all again. When we got back from the ride one of the little girls wanted to use the toilet but was too scared because of spiders so I very kindly volunteered to go in first to do a spider check. Very kind indeed 'cause I think I'm scareder of spiders than anyone. So I did the spider check and was in the process of kicking a ginormous spider corpse out the toilie door when my forty-seven kilo dog decided to run under the one leg I had planted on the ground. For a second I was airborne, then I hit the cement, two steps down, with a crunch. Now my shoulder hurts. And my teeth. I'll say I did it horseriding, which is sorta true.

The Best Day Ever

Remember I said Friday was the best day ever? I have to make an amendment to that statement. TODAY is the best day ever...

But I'll start with last night - I picked up Mark, we went to the dvd store and hired out four Al Pacino films (for him) and one Jennifer Tilly film (for me) - (by the way, WHY are her films so hard to find!!!) - then we went home. Seth and Amanda came over with Jeordie and Layne and I cooked fish & chips and we all played guitar hero - well, Mark and I played while everyone else watched. After the others left Mark and I dozed off watching Al Pacino films.

This morning I cooked us porridge, dropped Mark home and went out to the property. I met up with Cindy, Kirralee, Chiana, Amanda and Jeordie and we all saddled up and went for a trail ride and it was HEAVEN. It was overcast, raining slightly but not enough to be annoying. The dogs were running along beside us. At one point I turned to look for Blaze and found him, soaking wet, muddy, bounding through long grass with a big grin on his face, and then I looked around at all my new friends on their horses, all chatting and happy because everything was perfect and the horses made such a great team - except Kirralee had to turn back on Buddy because he started pigrooting - and I looked down at my beautiful Sacred, who I've been through so much with and who I've held on to even when I had no idea how I could manage (and a sensible person would have parted with her) - and I thought, "I am HAPPY. Every decision that I've made has brought me here- and it's SO SIMPLE." So simple, after all.

And the best thing of all - I'm home now, sitting at my desk, damp dog sound asleep, and it has started pouring rain!

Now, off to do my assignment....

Why Are People So Complicated?

Seriously, why?

Two of my friends are missing in action... one was meant to be coming to visit me for "Agnes of God" and overslept and didn't make it and then VANISHED completely and hasn't replied to any messages... another just stopped replying to messages some time in the last few weeks and I WORRY. I worry. I know life has to be complicated or it's not worth living, but come on!!!! I love my beautiful complicated friends, I love them and will till I die - but where are they? I get worried.

I've been horseriding again. Nice and uncomplicated. No-one was out there except me. After my ride I sat in the sun and watched Sacred graze. It was blissfully peaceful.

I'm having people over for some serious guitar hero tonight. Nice and uncomplicated.

Sigh.

Why?

It's Easter so I might go eat some chocolate now.

Fire Show

I'm tired and I really need to go to bed.... but before I do I just need to post how wonderful the kids were in the Fire Show tonight - wow! They're so talented and gorgeous. I'm proud to know them. My heart's all warm. I'm going to have a hot milk and go to bed.

Early Rising

I was all keen to sleep in until late this morning, but 6am and I was wide awake. I went over to Fiona's house last night - only her and Mark are home. Al and Katrina have gone on a motorbiking holiday together - so cool! So the three of us watched a new Al Pacino movie - "88 Minutes". Mark LOVES Al Pacino, and I love how he loves Al Pacino. Mark is going to be such a great actor, I can tell. He just gets it. I have to go to Sydney on Wednesday to audition for a TV pilot and I'm going to take Mark so he can see what happens. I think one of the things for country kids is they develop this idea that the city is scarey and auditioning in the city is a whole different ball game - but it's not. It's the same. If they're gifted in the country, they're gifted in the city! They can do anything.

It's overcast again but I'm still going riding. Sacred and I are going on a four hour trail ride in a week so we need at least a bit of practise.

After that I'm going down to the park because the youth theatre are performing a Fire Show - all acrobatics and stuff - with fire. Can't wait to see it.

I've just thought through my two week holiday... I have to do two days observation in the library for uni, two days observation at the police youth club, two days in Canberra with Amy working on our group presentation and one day in Sydney to audition. Then there's the big trail ride day... I had really better get stuck into the assignment due the first week back before I run out of days... because once my new books get here... it's all over!!!!

Back in the Saddle

This is the best day ever.

I met Amanda and her lovely daughter Jeordie out at the property and we gave our horses a bit of beautifying (Sacred had a mohawk where her bridle path should have been so I took the clippers to that!). Then we saddled up and walked around the arena a few times. Little Jeordie trotted and cantered around on Rufus, looking for all the world like she was born in a saddle. "Stop it!" I called out - "You're putting me to shame!" - Oh well, what can I expect. I was most definitely NOT born in a saddle. My ass did not hit the saddle till I was in my thirties. I think it's fair to say I will never look as comfortable as Jeordie up there!

We decided to go for a ride around Ivy and Rufus' paddock. It was awesome. Blaze came along for a run. Naturally he had to pause to throw himself into every available body of water... the dam, puddles... the filthier the better...

Considering I haven't been riding in probably six months Sacred was very well behaved. By which I mean she did not attempt to dislodge me from her back. She is such a good, kind girl. Apart from her inclination to start running as soon as we turned home she was an angel! I'm going again tomorrow. Tomorrow, if the sun comes out, I'm gonna give her a bath, too!

After the ride I decided to go to McDonald's. I like McDonald's on public holidays. I like looking at all the families with their cars all packed going places together. It's nice. I had Blaze in the car so I went through drive-thru. As I ordered I got that tap on the shoulder from Agnes again. "One fillet-o-fish meal, please. With diet coke." I used to chuckle at that when I worked at Macca's. "I'll have one big fat lard burger, please, with a side of carbs fried in oil - oh, and a diet coke, please." 'Cause I'm watching my calories...

Now it's all overcast and I hope it rains. I've watched a dvd and read over a play that I wrote. I hadn't looked at it in ages - I think it's good! I might take it to someone at the theatre to look at.

The dog is asleep again. Big day for the little bear. Little bear, that's what I call him. When people say "He is not little!" I reply "For a bear, he's really quite small".

Woo-hoo!

I made it!!! Holidays are here, holidays are here... little holiday dance...

I ate a LOT of chocolate at uni today - we all had to exchange eggs and scoff them immediately. Then I giggled my way through two hours of English like a year seven student. Sugar high. The tutor said something about a poem about birds on a wire, and Elizabeth started humming "Kookaburra sits on electric wire..." and I cracked up as I recalled the rest of that song from my childhood years... "Jumping up and down with his b#@*s on fire..." When we discussed this later we had a slight disagreement. The others thought the words were actually "Jumping up and down with his pants on fire". Bec asked me when was the last time I saw a kookaburra's b#@*s? I asked when was the last time she saw a kookaburra in pants? Touche, said Amy. Real mature.

I ventured to the supermarket on the way home from uni - BIG MISTAKE! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else in the whole world was there, too. I wouldn't have gone either except there was nothing festive in my fridge and tomorrow is a public holiday and I would've been sorry when all I had to eat on good Friday was a can of tuna and some frozen corn. Now I have hot cross buns, chocolate eggs, steak, sausages... as I was leaving Sister Agnes tapped me on the shoulder and said in her sweet little way "Excuse me, Michelle - you should not have red meat on Good Friday, you should have fish".

"But Agnes", I reasoned, "I'm not exactly a practising Catholic..." She seemed so disappointed - she didn't seem to understand. I caved. I bought crumbed fish. I do have frozen french fries in the freezer, I thought. It'll be nice.

So there you are, Agnes. But I am NOT going to Church!

My books didn't arrive. I'll have to wait till next week now... GROAN!!! (See how patient I am?) I shall have to read OTHER books. And tomorrow I go horseriding. Now, if I blog tomorrow and I am sitting at home instead of horseriding... well if I do that I am being very, very, very bad.

Sometimes A Dawg Just Gits Plum Tuckered Out

Did I mention how I love the dog? Lord how I love the dog!

He's sleepin' like a baby right now 'cause he's had a mighty big afternoon. We went out to feed Sacred, and despite the chill factor Blaze thought it might be a good idea and commenced gingerly climbing into Sacred's water trough. "No..." I warned him - "you have just had a bath". (I might add at this juncture that bathing a 47kg long-haired dog is no mean feat.) Suitably chastised, Blaze removed his paw from the trough and retreated like the good old boy he is.

At this point I thought it might be a fine idea to go for a late afternoon stroll with some other dog owners who were there. Yep. Feelin' fine. A nice relaxin' walk. Just what the doctor ordered after a long day in school. Blazie thought it was a damn fine idea, too. He and the other dogs ducked and dodged and leapt about like pups. Ahhh - bliss!

Then I noticed Blazie vanish into a little gully. Just his tail visible. What's he up to? Found himself a puddle, he did. Bit of a puddle after the weekend's downpour. Wanted to get himself a bit of a drink. No problem! Then I watched in horror as he plunged in up to his chin, swam about, emerged - threw himself onto his back in the mud and rolled about with glee. Finally he stood up, smiling from ear to ear, dog stuff well and truly attended to. I bent double laughing. "I love you!" I shouted. "God, I love you!"

So now the car smells like wet dog and so does the house. The dog is sound asleep and not interested in conversation.

My books didn't arrive yet... so I went to hire a dvd... and the dvd won't play... grrrrr! I had such an urge to watch "Seed of Chucky". So now I've been online shopping for dvds and it's all the dvd shop's fault! I didn't buy "Seed of Chucky", though. I bought "Bound" instead. And now I have to wait for it to arrive... like my books.... (sitting here tapping my fingers like the mailman might miraculously appear right now at 11pm...)

One more day till holidays!!!!!

Cross your fingers my books get here tomorrow before all the Easter public holidays!

Got Eggs

I'm back. Got eggs. I noticed something. There's a real Goulburn Winter chill in the air tonight. It was all dark by 7.30pm - daylight savings has really finished. (Not that I noticed at the time - I walked around a full day in my usual solitary bubble not knowing...)

But that chill - every year I forget what it's like! Spring comes and then Summer and I forget - just clean forget - about the short, dark days. Frozen fingers. Naked trees. Frosted dead brown grass. Snowing somewhere. Just not here. Too much eating. Too tight jeans. Ugh! I remember now. A shudder of dread. Seasonal mood disorder, anyone? (I'm only half kidding!)

Time to rug up my pony before she evolves into some kind of long-haired Mongolian mountain goat. She's way too pretty for that.

Aching ears. Runny nose. How many months till Spring?

OK, I'm making a promise - hold me to it - gonna embrace the short, dark days. Stay inside. Sleep late. Eat what I like. Not feel guilty. Ignore the mirror. Ignore the scales. Do my homework. Do my reading (no, not the uni stuff - the literary stuff). Get my assignments in on time...

Gotta stop myself there 'cause I'm laughing out loud. Even as I write that I know full well I'll be out playing with my horse and finding something to do at the theatre every chance I get, Winter or not! Been planning to be a reclusive academic for decades. Never happens!

Sigh.

Exhaustipation

Two more days. Two more days till holidays! So much to read, so much to write. Saying a quiet little prayer that the postman gets to my house before the Easter break with my new books. Got some serious plans for chocolate eggs, hot cross buns, coupla books, and my doona - after I have virtuously exercised myself and my horse, of course. Hey - my horse, of course - I'm a poet, and I know it! Yep, virtue is my middle name.

Just two more niggly assignmenty bits to finish and I'm done. Could be doing 'em now. Have 'em taken care of before dinner. But where's the fun in that? I procrastinate, therefore I am.

Speaking of procrastinating, it just occurred to me that I should definitely go downtown and buy an Easter egg for my mentor teacher. Yeah... that's what I should be doing!!!

Hasta la Vista!

Life is Good

Bring it on! Just finished the last of my major assignments due before the Easter break. Oooooooh! Can't wait... gonna sleep! Gonna eat! Gonna ride my horse (that's right Sacred, you and I are gonna EXERCISE. Both of us!) Gonna read. I have two more books on order and I just know they're gonna arrive before Easter so I can enjoy 'em.

Yep. Life is good. Life is real good!